Breathwork Doesn’t Work For Me!
From time to time people come to me and say ‘I’ve tried Breathwork and it doesn’t work for me’. it happened recently and I have been thinking about my response to it over the last few days.
How We Say It Says More Than What We Say.
When we communicate we are doing so on many different levels at the same time. One one level we tell a story – in this case the story is about breathwork and how it relates to me. But of even more interest is the level of how we say it, our body language, our tone of voice, the words we use. So much more meaning is conveyed at this level than just the story itself. These deeper layers of communication are generally unconscious and provide an access point into a much deeper and more telling truth about how we think, feel and relate to the world.
The language pattern of this statement speaks volumes. There is a finality about it. It suggests that these are the last words you have to say about it. From a language point of view it is similar to saying ‘I fail at everything’ or ‘I never get what I want’. Energetically, saying ‘Breathwork doesn’t work for me’ is very different from saying ‘Breathwork hasn’t worked for me so far’ or ‘Breathwork doesn’t always work for me’.
So rather than get into a discussion about Breathwork and whether it works or not, I focus instead on how you tell me your story. Does it bring you relief to say it or disappointment or something else entirely? What do you really want? Is it true?
Our Experience is Always Valid
It is not that I don’t believe you or that I think you are wrong. I am simply much more interested in how you feel about your relationship with your breath as expressed through your language and your tone of voice than the details of the story itself.
So the first thing I will say is ‘Yes’. This ‘Yes’ is not agreement with what you are saying but acceptance of your right to say it and be heard. It is an invitation to open up and tell me more. The kind of resistance that causes strong statements often comes from a life’s experience of being shut down, or feeling wrong or not heard. The ‘Yes’ is to let you know that whatever your experience with Breathwork has been and however you choose to express it is valid. We all have the right to our own opinion and to live life on our own terms and we all have the right to engage or not engage.
Transformation in the Present Moment
Then I get curious. I begin to wonder what makes you tick, what is your heart’s desire, what brought you to Breathwork in the first place. I can ask you where else in your life do you need to be so strong, so sure. I can ask you what else is possible for you. We are not talking about Breathwork anymore. We are taking about You and what matters to you. Our conversation becomes a connection between two people right now, in the present moment, getting to know each other. A conversation like this is Spirit in Action. It is from these moments that the real transformation occurs.
Breath in Action
And finally back to the story. With our breath we connect to the Divine energy that is moving and flowing through each and every breath, each and every ordinary moment of our existence. This energy is the source of everything we feel, everything we experience, everything we hold dear. It was present in your desire to have a Breathwork experience in the first place. It is present in the synchronicity that brought us together for me to hear the question. It is present in your feeling that Breathwork doesn’t work for you. It is present in all our heartfelt attempts to be our best. There is nothing to do. All is well.
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Ann Moloney Breathwork and Coaching.
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